This is for you John Brierley. It was your Guide book I clutched ( regardless then of the weight added to my pack) on my very first Camino adventure. 18 years ago. The Camino everyone knows , the Camino Frances. Since then I’ve walked other Spanish Caminos. And I’ve always remembered your central message about being vigilant, kind and thankful.

Each time I walk a Camino I contemplate Brierley’s beliefs and each time I’m back at home I try and hold onto them.

So now I’m back again, this time from a very short , broken up , Camino . I’m struggling once more, and I’m not alone in this. I’m starting to topple into familiar patterns of annoyance, mourning, and anxiety.

You see, I have a little list I write during each Camino.

I’ll summarise as the list is always tedious and jumbled, a smorgasbord of repetition each return. There are resolutions about exercise, relaxing, spending time with friends, being kind, tackling the new and the difficult, and, always, writing .

About 3 weeks in the clarity fades. Maybe life takes over with all its demands, responsibilities, actual and self -imposed. I become reluctant to engage in conversation or go to new places, sleep in longer, start washing up and tidying instead of walking or writing. My energy and delight in life is being whittled away.

This started out to be a simple ‘resolutions/ life/ finding a way’ piece. However now I’ve started I’m into a bit of a meander. Around John Brierley, Caminos, and a very brief exploration of beliefs.

So if you’re not into meanderings, then go no further. Just skim read to the end.

J. B. believed we are all on a pilgrimage, a metaphorical Camino. You can read elsewhere how he went on his first camino pilgrimage, changed his life, began writing the Guides to the Spanish Caminos .His belief that we are all on a pilgrimage , a spiritual journey, is not new. What is new is his ability to merge this conviction with a very practical, concise guide to walking long distances along paths which have long histories of spirituality .

Pilgrims have followed the Francés since the 11C , the St James Way all the way to Santiago de Compostela. And while I’m at it , there are more than 11 Caminos in Spain, the term Camino refers to the various designated tracks that lead to the shrine of St James in Santiago de Compostela. The Francés is one of the oldest , most well known and most frequented.

J. B. Guides are practical , meticulously researched, contain directions for following the different routes, where to stay or eat, what to carry. but they are also filled with notes on what he called the “ inner” ( or mystical , spiritual, path) .

He said that we need to guard “ the hard won space which pilgrimage gives”. The busyness of our lives takes us away from its centre, Pilgrimage slows us down, opens us inwards, towards truth. I believe strongly in the power of the Camino to bring about a change in being **. The pilgrim is thrust into a strange country, amongst unknown people ,into a different culture with ,generally, an unfamiliar language.There are other ways of behaving . She has to let go of the familiar and there is a gap, not- knowingness and a space for new awareness. There is time to cement that new awareness and to work out how to bring that insight into the life one has. Because ultimately most people have to return to the life they live at home or recreate one. Even walking continuously needs a plan .

On the Camino Forum , a valuable resource for anyone who is planning to walk a Camino , there is some lamenting about a return to life as is. There is also gratitude expressed for an adventure and opportunity, and an intention to use that as a catalyst in the ordinariness of life, to walk both actually and metaphorically with interest and curiosity.

Curiosity is what lifts us out of the fairly routine existence of our ordinary lives. Even John Brierley’s focus on the Caminos and Guides must have required a routine of sorts.His curiosity kept that gap open for insight and allowed a little bit of grace to seep through ,

So this morning instead of stumbling out of bed to my coffee , I stumbled out of bed to the beach.

I overlooked the weed and the quite strong waves,and plunged in.

Frozen when I got out . But I do feel alive now.

** I know the argument that any walk , particularly a long one, offers the opportunity for contemplation. But the Caminos because of their long history of pilgrimage and spirituality have a special potential to link with the unexplored and inexplicable parts of our lives .