All packed and unpacked 

“I like long walks ,especially when they are taken by people who annoy me “
Noel Coward

“Travel is glamorous only in retrospect”Paul Theroux

“Travel is flight and pursuit in equal measure “ ?

“ I always found myself in the company of Australians who were like a reminder of why I left “?

My favourite :”All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveller is unaware”Martin Buber

So what was/is my secret destination? I guess if its secret it is secret from me too .I can make assumptions about what sorts of intentions are linked with my urge to go walking in Spain (not the Bibbulman,not the Kimberlys,not Thailand or UK …) Not even,minus the walking , a beach sojourn in a cheap Asian resort just a few hours flight from Western Australia.But specifically Spain and the Mozarabe ending in Granada ,possibly in Cordoba.A 19 hour plane flight away .

Now its a moot point as have cancelled our flight.My new clever backpack sits on the chair in my room with its contents spread around like parts of a dismembered creature waiting to be repaired and put together again so it can move .A creature playing dead .If I waved my hand the parts float together and separately into their allotted spot in my pack?I have thought them together many times the last few days and I see them sitting snugly inside my pack as I walk along the path ,my pack comfortable on my back .I swing my arms slightly and enjoy the good spring weather in the south of Spain.I am walking steadily at an even pace and as Brierley ( one of the much used guide books to the caminos) always cautions ,I remain vigilant :Unexpected twists in the road ,a yellow arrow that disappears or points in the wrong direction,a stone ,a crevice ,pebbles and gravel ,a sudden drop .Today I am above such mishaps and the day is still beginning so hips are still unharmed,no blisters ,the country side as beautiful as expected -no Ave ( the  long train line going from South to North the Spaniards love which has cut across huge tracks of land ) no  3 lane motor ways obliterating the Roman or Arab ancient road ,no long dusty flat pieces of land with not even an olive tree in sight ,and deficient in bars for cafe con leche stops .

But I am not there.I’m in my bedroom in Australia looking at that pack .The last few weeks have felt like  a circuitous journey on a slowly revolving wheel;as it slows another trouble or job or obligation attaches itself to the rim ,and there I am in the middle not really able to reach the tyre part but every now and then a new black spot spins past .I feel smaller and smaller until all that is left is the rim and a  little person curled up in the centre .

First the dog got bitten at the vet ,where I took her to have an arthritis injection so that she will be free of stiffness while I am gone .An old dog who usually bites other dogs ,this time she was bitten ,and badly so that the cut was deep enough to need stitches -at great cost.I settled that ,she is bandaged and is on antibiotics which seem to cost more than ones for humans .She needs to be taken to the vet every 3 days for a change in dressing.I organise someone to do that while I am gone

Ok she’s a dog .Then my old mother ,taken to the doctor the day before for usual check is fine ,but a routine blood test shows poor kidney and liver function .A whole weekend spent talking to her about going to hospital for treatment.No chance .She can’t hear much anyway,but she can hear enough to reject hospital.As she gets more yellow and looks more unwell I still cling to the hope that maybe the next test will show an improvement .I organise for carers to do extra visits to her at home ,members of family rostered to visit .No .mprovement in one area ,not in another ,so another blood test forthcoming .Flights cancelled the night before we leave.

I visit her the next morning -“Oh she says ,I thought you were going “. Ha

Now these are only 2 of the major things -in between there has been a fence erected at the back of the house ,site works for a building that is to go up,the installation of a shed in the back garden so that the back room which has been used as a shed can be cleaned up ,and my daughter move in .Extra power plugs and fans installed .Plus the house has been reorganised.Then usual things like a bad back as a consequence of taking up a power yoga to strengthen a weak back ,cleaning a rental unit and waging a war against cockroaches The list is goes on.

The question at the back of my mind is : is  this all as I am not meant to go at this time to this place ? Would this all have happened anyway but because I am going it has all escalated and come together.I have to admit that I do not take kindly to the dog limping around in the garden ,or my mother sitting  in the same chair in her house and asking me when I am leaving as she wants to put on the rice for tea.Perhaps I have to learn to take kindly to injured pets and  old mothers

When do I go ? Hasta luego Espana.