The blooming Iris I’m leaving behind

An old one -draft written last year as I prepared to tackle a new camino,the de La Lana(Wool route )from Alicante on southern coast of Spain to Burgos inland.All unknowing of the surprise sitting on my kitchen table on return -results of the poo test.I have now planned to return to Spain.I’m not planning to walk a lot but would like to spend time in a little village near Granada ,in the foothills of the Sierra Nevada.I hope to improve my Spanish and contemplate life

More of that later.This blogg is about the preparations and feelings around leaving for a new place.It is interesting today to re examine those feelings in the light of what is happening now, where the situation is different (Feb 2020).But also to realise as I read that the strong feelings of a year ago have diminished.Is it just time ,or different context,or am I now wanting to cull rather than gather?Will those feelings and deep concerns I now hold close loosen their grip as time goes by?Or rather will I loosen my hold on them, let them go and enjoy what I have,not mourn what might be lost, or worry about a future. Sounds like the song -time goes by.

The following paragraph is from a year ago,and written at the beginning of our Perth spring.But the sentiments still apply -the reluctance to leave the known, to opt out of routines and the security of home .

“But what of the blooming iris I’m leaving behind ?What of the suddenly magic weather -the crisp clean mornings followed by warm days .What of the garden I have been planting the last few days ?And the apartment next door that is being leased ,and have had to acquiesce in repainting -and colour changes .That has been the hardest -to go back into a space that was once ones own ,where so much energy has been given to creating a beautiful and special surrounding -the colours reflecting a personal search for happiness and serenity .Each corner means something ,or did to me :the purple door with MF,(Motherfunk) etched into it ,the first sound room for a recording of son so many years ago now ,the ochre walls reflecting colours seen in Spain /Morocco -orange is a happy assertive colour -the silver internal wall highlighting the coloured glass internal windows.Looking back from the pond outside there is a sense of reaching back into a timeless and ornate universe with starry surrounds.Goodbye ,let go “

These are the things I was packing into my backpack, and I will go through the same agonising about what to keep and what to discard each time I travel :

My shorts ,rarely worn on previous walks as either too cold ,or legs get scratched or sunburnt

assorted scarfs


assorted moisturisers

a spare pair of pants

an extra ,favourite coloured top

Other tops I like , so light they take no space ‘

assorted vitamins and pills

thermal pants

Merino gloves and beanie

Sun hat

extra hoodie

Rain jacket ( light ,and expensive ) and pants

Spare socks and liners

Change of underwear

Long merino wool dress ( why ?)

Phone charger and phone

Docs : guide to walk, just relevant pages , and Hostal info

Book to read / books ?

Walking poles

Etc etc etc

I need to have not more than 7 kg

Does anyone else have so much trouble ,and this after 6 caminos .Or is it part of the detachment and getting away ? I tell myself this as i get more and more stressed and pack and repack

Does my present life resemble this room ? Where there is a lot of stuff waiting to be sorted ,not used daily ,and needs to be got rid of but kept just in case ?

Or energies , talents and qualities lying dormant ,faltering and wilting in a muddled space?Closed door and windows so eventually there is only stale air and forgotten belongings

Right.Get to it . Adelante!